What Does Thanksgiving Mean To Me?

Saturday was our family Thanksgiving celebration.  It got me thinking about Thanksgiving and what it means and has meant to me in the past. 

It took a lot to try to remember what Thanksgiving was like for me as a child at home.  After all it was a zillion years ago...and a lot of my childhood memories somehow seem to be blocked for me.  I used to call my sister, Shirley, to find out how things were back then.  But she died several years ago, so I lost my source.  Sad to say the rest of my family doesn't seem willing to communicate with me.  But I remember Mom got up long before us and must have prepared a lot of the food.  The pies would be sitting on the buffet and the turkey roasting in the oven long before we (the children) woke up.  Our morning was spent watching tv....yes we did have one...black and white...small oval screen.  

When I grew up and married I remembered how frightened I was the first time I cooked a turkey.  You see, I had never planned on being a housewife..I never took Home Ec in school because I was going to live in the big city and have a career....there was no way that I was staying in Ohio and being a farm wife!  Well, I did go to the big city for a while...New York City....but a job led me to Toledo Oh where I met and married my first husband.  So I had no idea how to fix a turkey.  I did find a cookbook and did my best.   I set the oven, rinsed the turkey, rubbed butter and salt on it, and put it in the oven.  While it was roasting, I fixed the other things we ate.  Later as I was carving the turkey, can you imagine how surprised I was to find that plastic bag with the neck and other body parts in it...still in the turkey!  But did I stop to think what Thanksgiving meant to me?  No, I was busy putting on Thanksgiving.

So now things have changed.  I no longer get to cook the turkey.  Instead, my daughter's fiance does a fine job.  This year we had quite an assortment of food.  I contributed deviled eggs and although I made plenty...they were gone in the flash of an eye!  My son arrived late and I could hear him in the kitchen saying with disappointment.."but where are the deviled eggs that Mom brought?"  (so making a note to myself...make extra eggs next time!)  After eating we just sat around and visited.  It was a great way to spend the afternoon.

Thursday (the real Thanksgiving Day) will be here soon.  I have contemplated how I will spend the day.  I won't be cooking a dinner, nor will I be sitting down with anyone to eat one.  Today I thought about it at the grocery store and decided that it wouldn't be Thanksgiving without a turkey dinner...so I bought a Mary Callender's frozen dinner...stuffing, turkey and mashed potatoes...and I bought a pumpkin pie for dessert.  If nothing comes up, I'll be eating that on my TV tray...maybe watching my first Christmas movie.   My family will be getting ready to hit the stores for the pre-black Friday sales...then the real black Friday sales...that isn't for me.

I guess that Thanksgiving is a time for being thankful for the things we have, our experiences, our family and friends, and just to be alive.  It is also a time for remembering...old times, places, dear ones who are departed, and for getting ready for the holiday season. 

What does Thanksgiving mean to you?  How do you celebrate it?

It's been a while...

It's been a while since I last wrote a blog.  I just read my last one and am happy to post that I am much, much better.  It has been three months since my total knee replacement surgery and I still am in therapy but not for long since medicare does set limits to how many therapy sessions one can have.  Two week ago I wasn't making any progress in therapy so we switched my therapy to water therapy.  The pool is small but it is delightfully warm.  It is a salt water pool so there is not that annoying chlorine smell to put up with.  Has it helped?  Perhaps a little.  It relaxes me and the therapist can then bend my knee but still not enough to meet her goal.  I will be happy when the stiffness is gone but I am mostly pain free now.  

After my last blog I realized one day that the pain pills were not for me.  I had been taking two every four hours.  It was no wonder that I was out of it!  So I just decided one Friday morning that I would not take another pain pill.  My daughter had warned me that I would have withdrawal and I sure did.  It took two weeks for it to clear my system but it was worth it.  Next time I will consult my doctor and get something to help get off pain pills.  (Hopefully there won't be a next time).  

I don't return to see the surgeon until February so I am hoping to have made lots of progress by then.   

On another note....I have decided to start writing again.  I have always wanted to write a book...but I am not going to start out with that....maybe some essays, blogging, and some short stories....but we will see.  Right now I am reading a book titled "Everyday Writing" by Laurie Rozakis.  It is a great motivation tool.  

School is going great and I have increased my daily hours to six.  It makes for a long day, but it is enjoyable and entertaining.  I love the children and they encourage me to believe in a future for our country. 

Enough for tonight.  Sleep well.

This is hard.  I am not myself now and wondering if I will be again.  Yes I had my knee surgery and it was successful.  BUT, why must there be buts in our lives, things aren't the same with me.  I have waited several weeks...doing things I have been told.  Forcing myself to eat....try to be cheerful even though I am not sure I am even depressed...just different. 

I am home now, driving, and back to volunteering at the school.  It is difficult but I am making myself do it with the aid of pain pills.  Who knows where I would be if I just stayed home and brooded.  

In trying to figure out what has happened I go back to the evening of the surgery.  My daughter was sitting next to the bed, trying to encourage me to eat because I had no appetite whatsoever and we were chatting.  I was in pain and pressed the morphine button.  It didn't seem to help so there was another button that went to the nerve block in my leg and I pushed that.  It still wasn't helping much but I just assumed it would take time.  All of a sudden I told my daughter I wasn't feeling right.  Right away she knew to push the call button.  I told her I has having shooting pains across my chest and tightening....my vision was blurry and I was so hot!  (And although I didn't know it my blood pressure was dropping dramatically.) So the nurses rushed in and took away my morphine button....and I think maybe increased my drip in the iv.  It got better.  Ten minutes later the same thing happened again only worse.  This time my blood pressure dropped to 60 over 20....and the house doctor appeared by my bedside.  The nerve block was taken away and I was in pain so the house doctor injected a different drug in my iv.  So I was moved immediately to the Intensive Care Unit where I could have constant monitoring.  A nurse actually peeked in every five minutes....I never slept...afraid I would wake up with another spell.  I had one more in the night and at 6 am the doctors stood in front of me and I had another one.  Yup, right in front of the doctors!  What was odd for me was how calm and matter of fact they all took it.  No rushing around and bells and whistles like in the movies.  I was in ICU for two more days and back to the joint and bone unit for one day.  I was then transferred to a rehab unit in a nursing home and stayed for 13 days.  I still haven't regained my appetite....I have to force myself to eat.  For several days I haven't even turned on my computer...and my favorite thing...enjoying tv....has seemed to have gone too.  I mostly just sit quietly...then go and lay down and sleep.  I don't even care if I look at my kindle.  My daughter has repeatedly said that the episodes weren't that serious...just probably a reaction to the analgesia and I just nod my head and agree.  But inside I feel differently.  I feel like I lost a part of me and I am trying to find it....sometimes I almost do when I am sleeping.  Everyone tells me how good I look and how well I am walking...I use a cane but know I could actually walk just as well without one.  One good thing...I lost twenty pounds so far.  

School is good I am enjoying a new group of grandchildren.  We don't seem to have any so far that stand out.  Some years we have several with behavior problems but this years looks good.  Today we had an extremely hot day and I was glad to come home and take a nap in my air conditioned apartment.  

Tomorrow I have school in the morning and physical therapy in the afternoon so it will be a tiring day. 

Sorry to write such a depressing blog...but I didn't want you all to think I had just given up blogging.  I so appreciate all your prayers and best wishes....and now I just need to really work on finding myself again.

A day at the lake

Yesterday I spent the day at Mirror Lake.  I have a two friends that live on the lake.  Gratia owns the house and lives on the top floor and Vicki, my other friend, rents out the lower level.  Gratia was away visiting relatives but Vicki invited me to come over for the day.  

She fixed a nice pasta salad and we journeyed down about 70 steps to where the pontoon boat was docked.  We took a cooler with cold drinks and planned to tour the little lake and just relax.  She had on her swim suit...but I didn't even bring mine since I figured the water would be cold since we have had some chilly nights recently.

So we untie the boat and get ready to take off and when she turns the key...nothing happens.  She checks that she had it in neutral...tries again and nothing.  We check the leads to the battery...and everything looked okay.....so I figured it was a dead battery...even though the solar panel was hooked up.

We decided that we would tie lines to the boat and just let it drift out a little...she wanted to get in the water and near shore it is mucky.  Well sure enough when she got in the water was cold!
So we did enjoy some cold drinks and some good conversation and we each got a little sun.  It was a-okay with me. 

While sitting there I noticed a beautiful water lily.  Took this picture but it doesn't do any justice to the beauty....it was white with a bright yellow center...not so much in the picture.

This is what the neighbors yard looked like....notice how steep it is!

Well not nearly as steep as Gratia's ...hers goes straight up...wish I had taken a picture of the steps!

These are two pictures across the lake...

For dinner we headed out to the Artisan Wells Restaurant.  We called ahead because this was race weekend....and if you know anything about Michigan International Speedway in Brooklyn, MI you would know how traffic and crowds can be on race weekends.  It is always crazy.  Anyway we were able to get a table and had a good meal.  Artisan Wells is like a Harley Davidson restaurant with lots of motorcycle stuff and sports things all around.  

It was a very nice day and I was glad to get away from my little apartment and just relax with a good friend.  

Today I am cleaning and packing for tomorrow....it will be a very early morning and I have to be out the door at 5:15am....tough for someone who likes to sleep in.

Have a great day and of course I appreciate your prayers for me tomorrow.  

Today I had a wonderful lunch with my school teacher and her daughter, Caitlin.  

They took me to Coast-to-Coast Deli.  It is just around the block from where I live and I have never been there.  My sandwich was delicious.  We talked about our summer, my surgery, and the up-coming school year.  I think I have the best teacher of them all...and boy did she look skinny today.  Over the last couple of years she lost a lot of weight and this summer she had the skin on her arms and tummy tightened.  She looked wonderful!

Later in the day the hospital called and said my surgery time was changed.  My heart sank...another change....but hey, they moved it up two hours so now I have to be at the hospital at 7:30am.  And the nurse said...sooner is better because then it will be over with sooner.  Makes sense.  It's just that the hospital is two hours away so I will have an early morning on Monday.

Tomorrow I am going to visit my friend Vicki.  She lives on a lake with our other friend Gratia.  This week Gratia is in Seattle visiting one of her children so we have the place to ourselves...maybe even get to take a boat ride!  So I am hoping for a little warmer weather.

Have a good night and sleep tight!

Good news!  My hemoglobin levels have increased!  My kidney functions are stable and I guess I am good to go for surgery next Monday morning.  I am a little afraid..or should I say nervous but I guess maybe that is a normal thing.  I wish I hadn't read the book that tells pretty much exactly what they do.  When I read I picture everything in my mind and sometimes I think things get exaggerated.  So I am trying to tell myself that the surgeon has done thousands of these....most successful I am sure.  Total knee replacement is a pretty common surgery now.  I also have to tell myself not to expect to get up the next day and be able to walk perfectly.  It is only a couple of weeks until the start of school and I am hoping to be able to start the first day.  Someone told me today that might be a mistake.  I will just have to wait and see how I do. 
I had to stop taking Celebrex today....and I guess I am supposed to wash with Dial soap.  I hope it doesn't irritate my skin, because I remember in the past that it did.  

Last night my son sent me a text at 12:30 am....I guess he forgets that we are three hours different.  Anyway it was a little video of my grand baby Ryleigh.  She was laughing really loud.  So cute.  I tried to download it onto my computer.  Talk about problems....a Microsoft warning came up....trying to help and I got scared and backed out and I think everything is now okay.  I wish you could have heard her laugh.

Tonight I had my first summer sweet corn for dinner.  It was delicious.  I only bought two ears and saved the remaining ear for tomorrow.  I also had one sliced tomato and a hamburger patty.  It was all delicious.   Later tonight I will have a small dish of strawberries for snack.  I love eating fresh produce.  What is your favorite summertime meal?

Test completed

Hailey, my grand daughter (pictured above in the darker pink dress) arrived at my apartment this morning at 7:15 am.  Her mother dropped her off as this is my son's weekend with his daughter and he was working.  This saved him a 20 mile trip to pick her up.  

She has been ill for two weeks and I was hoping she was better.  She sure looked cute in her little black lacy skirt and turquoise top.  I wish I would have thought to snap a picture but I was thinking more of my various medical tests which I had to get to by 9 am.  
She didn't know when she came that she would be tagging along with her Nana this morning.

She sat and waited in the waiting room while I had the EKG, the urine specimen test and the blood draw.  Everything went well and I should hear back sometime next week about the results.  Maybe they will be better than my last ones were. 

Afterwards we stopped at Burger King because I wanted to treat myself and her to a breakfast.  For me...a warm cinnabon and for her some pancakes, sausage and hash browns.  I ate all my cinnabon and could have eaten another, but she stalled out on her first pancake saying she didn't feel well.  I asked her where it hurt and she said her stomach.    She had seen a doctor previously and they thought it was acid re flux ..then when she didn't get better they found out she had a bacteria infection which I now learned was strep throat.  She messed up on her dosage and had just finished taking the last pills this morning. 

All afternoon I could tell she wasn't feeling well.  She simply laid around and watched Netflix.  Finally my son got off work and came and I told him to do something...not to let this go by.  I almost insisted that he take her to the doctor.  He wanted to wait and see if she was better and maybe go to the emergency room if necessary.  I told him that wasn't a good idea....surely there would be a much larger co-pay...than an office visit and why wait.  So he called the doctor and was told to bring her right away.

I just heard from him by text and she still has the strep throat.  So I have been busy spraying lysol....taking a hot shower with dial soap and praying that I don't get it!  Of course I said a prayer for Hailey too...

Then I went down to get my mail and visited with some people in the lobby....now I am starving and need to fix something for a late dinner.  Hope you all had a nice day.