Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Finally, my internet is back and working fine.  Today I called the provided and they gave me a credit of $6.67 to take off my bill.  I was satisfied with that.  Glad to be back on line.  That was Tuesday.....then I tried to keep busy the rest of the week. 

School ended for the summer last week and I knew that it would lead to some long days of sitting in my apartment alone.  So I decided to buy a new frame for my bed and get rid of the waterbed drawers under it.  I knew better than to do it alone so I got my grandson for the day to help me do the job. 

He thought it was easy-peasy.....he helped to empty the drawers into a storage tub and then vacuumed the floor.  Then we opened the box the new bed frame came in and he said he hoped I had tools....well no tools were needed and he said it was the easiest thing to set up that he had ever seen...soon we had the bed together and I told him I needed a break.   I had taken several breaks before that.  He said that it was a good thing I didn't help out at his house as they weren't allowed to take breaks when doing projects.  I told him when he got as old as I was that he would need breaks too.   Once we took a break he didn't complain though.  :)

The next day I work up and my back hurt.  I took some aspirins and got ready to go to my daughter's for the graduation party.  It hurt all the time I was gone....I took aspirins, Tylenol and was looking for ibuprofen but couldn't find any in my purse.   I left the party right after I had eaten.  Came home and was on my sofa for the rest of the night and two days later--I decided it wasn't going to get better on its own.  So I called the doctor and went in to get checked.   I would rate my pain level around a 10 by the time I drove to the doctor's office. (It was almost as painful as my knee surgery!)   I hardly ever cry in front of anyone but found tears flowing as I sat in the room alone.  I was having a real pity party for myself.     I ended up getting a steroid shot....pain pills, steroid pack,  muscle relaxers and a sheet of exercises.  I left the doctors office and thought I should just go home and get the medicine later or wait and see if my daughter could pick them up...then I just bit my lip and said to myself that I had better go now....if I went home I wouldn't want to go out again and I didn't know whether my daughter would even do an errand for me.   I remembered the other days laying on the sofa and wishing she might call and bring me a take out which never to take care of myself.  

That afternoon waiting at Walmart's was difficult but when I got home and took the pills it wasn't long until I was feeling better.  So, is my back better? can still tell that the pain is still lurking in the background but at least I can function. 

The other strange thing that happened is when I was taking things out of the bedroom a snapshot went flying across the floor.   It brought back a flood of memories that I have buried for about 12 years now.  It was a picture of me and my last husband....It almost sucked the breath out of me because I can't remember the picture ever being taken.   Here it is

I know it must have been around Christmas time.....and it just sucks that we looked so happy...because it all ended so badly.  This week while on the sofa I watched the new show Married at first Sight....the last episode was last night.  Its a show where couples who have never met get married and try for six weeks to make it work....then they make a decision to stay married or get a divorce.  This time two couples decided to stay together and one couple opted for a divorce.    It made me think of the husband and I only knew each other for about a month when he proposed and we were married 3 months later.  I wonder if we had spent a little more time getting to know one another if it would have ever happened.  It still hurts to looks at pictures because I didn't want a divorce...but he didn't want to be married to me anymore.  Sometimes I think divorce is worse than a death because death isn't a choice but divorce is.  Funny thing is when the kids at school ask about my husband I fib and tell them he died.  I hope Jesus forgives me for that...if I tell myself that enough it helps.