Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Finally, my internet is back and working fine.  Today I called the provided and they gave me a credit of $6.67 to take off my bill.  I was satisfied with that.  Glad to be back on line.  That was Tuesday.....then I tried to keep busy the rest of the week. 

School ended for the summer last week and I knew that it would lead to some long days of sitting in my apartment alone.  So I decided to buy a new frame for my bed and get rid of the waterbed drawers under it.  I knew better than to do it alone so I got my grandson for the day to help me do the job. 

He thought it was easy-peasy.....he helped to empty the drawers into a storage tub and then vacuumed the floor.  Then we opened the box the new bed frame came in and he said he hoped I had tools....well no tools were needed and he said it was the easiest thing to set up that he had ever seen...soon we had the bed together and I told him I needed a break.   I had taken several breaks before that.  He said that it was a good thing I didn't help out at his house as they weren't allowed to take breaks when doing projects.  I told him when he got as old as I was that he would need breaks too.   Once we took a break he didn't complain though.  :)

The next day I work up and my back hurt.  I took some aspirins and got ready to go to my daughter's for the graduation party.  It hurt all the time I was gone....I took aspirins, Tylenol and was looking for ibuprofen but couldn't find any in my purse.   I left the party right after I had eaten.  Came home and was on my sofa for the rest of the night and two days later--I decided it wasn't going to get better on its own.  So I called the doctor and went in to get checked.   I would rate my pain level around a 10 by the time I drove to the doctor's office. (It was almost as painful as my knee surgery!)   I hardly ever cry in front of anyone but found tears flowing as I sat in the room alone.  I was having a real pity party for myself.     I ended up getting a steroid shot....pain pills, steroid pack,  muscle relaxers and a sheet of exercises.  I left the doctors office and thought I should just go home and get the medicine later or wait and see if my daughter could pick them up...then I just bit my lip and said to myself that I had better go now....if I went home I wouldn't want to go out again and I didn't know whether my daughter would even do an errand for me.   I remembered the other days laying on the sofa and wishing she might call and bring me a take out which never to take care of myself.  

That afternoon waiting at Walmart's was difficult but when I got home and took the pills it wasn't long until I was feeling better.  So, is my back better? can still tell that the pain is still lurking in the background but at least I can function. 

The other strange thing that happened is when I was taking things out of the bedroom a snapshot went flying across the floor.   It brought back a flood of memories that I have buried for about 12 years now.  It was a picture of me and my last husband....It almost sucked the breath out of me because I can't remember the picture ever being taken.   Here it is

I know it must have been around Christmas time.....and it just sucks that we looked so happy...because it all ended so badly.  This week while on the sofa I watched the new show Married at first Sight....the last episode was last night.  Its a show where couples who have never met get married and try for six weeks to make it work....then they make a decision to stay married or get a divorce.  This time two couples decided to stay together and one couple opted for a divorce.    It made me think of the husband and I only knew each other for about a month when he proposed and we were married 3 months later.  I wonder if we had spent a little more time getting to know one another if it would have ever happened.  It still hurts to looks at pictures because I didn't want a divorce...but he didn't want to be married to me anymore.  Sometimes I think divorce is worse than a death because death isn't a choice but divorce is.  Funny thing is when the kids at school ask about my husband I fib and tell them he died.  I hope Jesus forgives me for that...if I tell myself that enough it helps.


  1. Ruth, a divorce is a death of sorts so I don't think your fib will get you in trouble. I'm sorry seeing the photo caused you some pain though. Also sorry to hear about your back pain! Maybe a chiropractor can help put things back in place for you? Feel better!! Sending hugs.

  2. Bless your heart, you get over knee pain and now it is your back. Sure hope the medicines help and in time you will feel much better. Divorce is always hard, no matter the reason or how long one has been married. Sorry yours didnt work out. Be we go on, dont we?